A Tall Order – from my heart to yours..

by SunraySheryl on January 31, 2012

Now here’s a tall order, and something I’ve been contemplating the last while..

Survivors of sexual abuse, or any violation for that matter, need the following:

– Survivors deserve to be fully heard without censure or hint of reproach..

– Survivors point blank need their perpetrators to be held accountable by and to the law of the land (and a higher moral law known by some as God, and by others as the Universe), and for their perpetrators to be held accountable to each and every one they have wounded and offended..

– Survivors desperately desire the cycle of abuse to end, to stop the abuse they are receiving, and to prevent new victims.. to keep our children safe..

– Survivors deeply long for safety, not only from future assaults, but also a place where they can take a breath, a place they can trust they will be heard, a community where they are each fully accepted as they are right now, where they are genuinely loved, and where they can feel belonging..

– Survivors absolutely must have experienced professionals to work with them through the past depraved craziness they endured..

Back up support friends are awesome, but the path to healing is not all sweetness and light. This is not a matter of falling into loving arms and weeping a time or two and all is well. It is much more like work in a burn unit. We are dealing with messy wounds which requires the task of draining infectious pus, coaxing new tissues to form and grow, and constant vigilance. It is a long and lifetime journey. The deeper and more infected the wounds and the longer the neglect before treatment, the higher the risk of re-infection and loss of life and limb.

Are you up for this? It’s a deep commitment to be a real friend in such situations. It takes establishing a foundation of true relationship, true friendship, and a pervasive non-judgmental attitude. It also takes good self care to prevent compassion fatigue and to continue to be consistent in your level of availability.

{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

positivepersistence January 31, 2012 at 1:57 pm

Sheryl – Excellent! You really touched on many of the different aspects and did it so well! hugs, Deborah


SunraySheryl January 31, 2012 at 9:28 pm

Thank you so much, Deborah.. Gotta love when those writing sessions flow.. I guess I was drafting it in my pre-waking hours ;D


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