It Starts with What You Believe

by Sheryl Brown on June 30, 2013

Sunray Counseling ...a place for hope and healing Sunray Counseling ..hope and healing

Impossible, no choice, can’t do it, no escape.

There must be a way, rise above, make it happen, thrive.

When you’re beaten down, trapped and have been conditioned to believe you have no choice and that others are more powerful and will always prevail, it’s pretty hard to see beyond your particular set of circumstances.

Sometimes you’re battling an entire system, other times it’s more one particular individual in your life. Sometimes you lose touch with your own ability to see clearly, to stand up for yourself, to claim what’s right.

How can you make the shift from treading water, barely keeping air in your lungs to making powerful strokes and reaching dry land?

Many have accomplished their flight to freedom, leaving a feeling of being brainwashed by first believing, in the tiniest way, that they have the right to be free, to choose, to leave the abusive situation, to have their own life back. Sometimes, they have had to get rather creative to do so.

We have all been inspired reading their stories, and watching the movies made of their lives. By examining their processes, we can often find some clues to help ourselves.

In many cases, the escape to freedom is harrowing, painstaking and happens over time. It really helps to have supporters in your corner.

But the very first part is believing, even if only for the very next step.

Write and tell me what helped you figure out your first step. We’re all in this together – let’s help each other out.

{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

Emma Wise June 30, 2013 at 10:51 pm

I am sure my poem here will sum it up…but if not I have another one that might…

BETRAYAL, BY Emma Wise (c) 2009

Betrayed once

Betrayed twice

Never trust again

A child lost

Ignored and forgotten

Becomes a lost adult

Her feelings obsolete

Assertiveness never repeats

The wounded retreat

Suppressed, Oppressed

Worthless trash

Taught through abuse

To be self abusive

No self esteem

Or Self worth

Life not valued

Is not valuable

To the inner child

Consumed by rage

Others see

What they label

Without knowing

What the cause is

They pass judgment

Teach others to judge

And point fingers

Everywhere but at


Little respect is learned

When love is demonstrated

Through pain

Silence is promoted

Health is disregarded

Never tell the secrets

Never laugh, or play

Don’t confide, or bond

Eventually all will be taken away

Ripped from the inside

Blinded from the outside

Sent into war

Without a weapon

Sent into madness

Without any support

Born strong

Not a problem

It will be beaten,

Smothered, Isolated, and


Out of you

Before you have a chance

To use it against them

Mixed messages

It will all be okay

But it isn’t now

So when will it be

Kept in a room

In a closet

In the darkness

Within your soul

Entrapped in the wrong

Because nothing you do

Is right

Anticipate rejection

Know you are ugly,

Unloved, and not wanted

How will you ever learn

To love yourself


Sheryl Brown July 1, 2013 at 1:34 am

What a deep expression of your experience, Emma.. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing this with us. Writing is a tremendous tool to get us in touch with what we’re feeling. You are loved..!


Emma Wise June 30, 2013 at 10:54 pm

and another poem that expresses the pain of not being heard…

Silence of the Lies, by Emma Wise (c) 2009

You ask me how I am,

I have no voice to explain.

You have no time to speak,

my voice is muted already.

Silence is my routine,

shutting down is my life.

Pretending is so lame,

the real me is no game.

I wage through the havoc,

the war I am far too familiar with.

Going to God almost daily,

but with no comrade by my side.

Wish this was not so hard,

to find a soul to love me.

One I won’t push away,

or drown in the depths of darkness.

The we’s do not care,

the further you are the better.

Keeping me hostage,

under their care.

Tired of having to reach out,

to only getting shunned.

Playing the game of church,

to subside my mission friends.

Reaching out to the lost,

when it is right under their nose.

The masses are undefinable,

put the mask back on.

You don’t matter,

just a speck on the planet.

Why should anyone care,

quit taking up their time.

In the way again,

too much pain to soak.

Believe in truth,

life will work for you.

Praying for you,

listening to the preaching screams.

My reality is truth,

trapped as you can see.

It does not matter what I think,

everyone else is better than me.

I do not matter to them,

life is better for them.

Do not disturb their peace,

they are busy can’t you see.

Never mind your needs,

cry alone and rest in peace.


Sheryl Brown July 1, 2013 at 1:37 am

Everyone deserves to be heard. In writing and sharing this, Emma, you are being heard here.
Thank you for taking the huge risk to speak up tonight.


Skosh July 1, 2013 at 2:26 am

Your blog was a good teaser, to make readers think about their journey from a fresh angle.
I especially appreciated Emma’s poems, and the sensitivity that she shared. The last poem resonated for me after going to a church function yesterday and almost being invisible…it can be disturbing.
I was fortunate to have a God appointment with someone who needed to be heard, and tried to give what I had missed, and it turned the day around for me. I hope it helped the other person too.


Sheryl Brown July 1, 2013 at 2:15 pm

Ah, those God appointments make it all worthwhile, don’t they? You gave what you missed.. Priceless.

Thanks so much for weighing in here, Skosh. Emma is definitely one of those amazing writers..


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